Saturday, 21 July 2012
“Don’t Suffer Silently, Be Assertive” - Professor M.S.Rao
“The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others.” - Sharon Anthony Bower
There are people who suffer silently in their personal, professional and social lives as they don’t know how to assert themselves. When they are asked to attend functions or ceremonies they attend unwillingly because they don’t know how to say, ‘No’. There are people who accept extra load of work which they are not supposed to do because they don’t know how to say, ‘No’. At the same time, we also find some people saying, ‘No’ adamantly and aggressively. Neither accepting extra work nor obliging others politely is good. At the same time, rejecting aggressively with others’ request is not a right etiquette. That means there must be a right balance between politeness and aggressiveness, and that is known as assertiveness.
Assertiveness is the art of saying ‘No’ firmly but politely. If you say ‘No’ firmly it is an aggressive response. If you say, ‘No’ politely it is a submissive response. Shakti Gawain said, “Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!” If you are submissive you will suffer silently and burst out one day. You will be exploited by others and get into depression. If you are aggressive people don’t appreciate and nobody will come near to you, and befriend you. Therefore, you must learn the art of saying ‘No’ firmly but politely.
Companies provide training on assertiveness so that employees enjoy their rights and respect the rights of others. In addition, they learn to gel well with others. They can work with peace and harmony as there are less chances of getting into conflicts. The assertiveness is included along with communication skills during corporate training programs as it is closely connected with communication skills. Hence, it is essential to acquire the tools and techniques associated with assertiveness to lead a conflict-free and comfortable life.
“The most powerful assertiveness technique is to repeat your command with the confidence that the child will soon yield.” - John Gray PhD
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